Then I realized that this area of "growing up" is a repeat, not an "arrived" state...
As I was reading one of my favorite authors, Max Lucado, this morning, he put his finger on a nerve that I have always found sore. I am guessing you might find this area sore or know someone who has this similar thought....
Here's Max's words from "In The Grip Of Grace"...
"There are times when the one thing you want is the one thing you will never get...
You wait and pray.
No answer.
You pray and wait.
May I ask you a very important question.? What if God says no?
What if the request is delayed or even denied? When God says no to you how will you respond? If God says "I've given you my grace, and that is enough," will you be content?"
Ok Max, that's enough... I am having flashbacks thanks to you...
It was 8 years ago this coming February that my father died, I had been through 2 surgeries in the last 6 weeks of the previous year, was still struggling after the second surgery. It was a simple surgery with not so simple results.
The months after my surgeries and my father's death, more things began to pile up in my heart and mind. I prayed, begged and even tried to barter with God. No answers.... No relief...
The pain slowly pushed me to contact a local pastor for counseling. I could not get an answer, to be honest, the answer I came to is one that has to be revisited again and again...
My answer came at the end of a long pause and a rethinking of God following the hardest question ever asked me... "What are you going to do if God doesn't take this pain away?" I wanted to slap him, truly, I was broken, crushed and gasping for breath and he had the audacity to ask me this horrible question. He stuck his finger in a bleeding wound and twisted. I had not room for "no" even though my teaching and preaching had contained this truth many times. It was not true for me at that moment.
I didn't have an answer, I just looked up with tears in my eyes and said... "I don't know."
I would like to say I had an epiphany that day, I'm not sure I've had one even since. But, for reasons I can't always tell you, that question began to transform my faith. It still molds my thinking to this day.
I look at life differently.
Success isn't always God's hand of blessing and defeat isn't always a sign of God's hand of judgment/disapproval.
God knows the correct answer whether I believe he's right or not.
So here I sit, reading one of my favorite authors and realizing that this topic will never go away. I must find a way to handle to lows as well as the highs. God is sufficient for both, his grace is limitless and powerful. Sunshine and rain come, God stays the same, I am glad...
Oh yeah... I forgot to tell you how Max ended this section I was reading... Let's see how you like what he has to say...
"If God says no to you, how will you respond? If God says, 'I've given you my grace, and that is enough,' will you be content?
Content. That's the word. A state of heart in which you would be at peace if God gave you nothing more than he already has."
Thanks Max.
Thanks Dale.
I'm looking to respond to this day with all it holds with this attitude, at peace if God gives me nothing more than he already has.
Lord, help me and anyone else who would want this to be true of them. Lord, it's not easy, but then, you never said it would be...
Thank you for grace sufficient Lord!
